|From the Personal Blog of Dan McNeely|
|Date||March 10, 2042|
|Internal Series||McNeely (series), #1 ▶|
March 10th, 2042:
From the Personal Blog of Dan McNeely
It's somewhere around 2 AM on March 10th, 2042. As I was telling you all in my last post, things have become strange lately. Strange, yet exhilarating, and I can't have gotten this far without your support. You have all been incredible, and I thank you.
My agent came to see me yesterday and told me some hot shot movie producer was looking to remake Trapped. This producer wanted to meet me in order to discuss my part in the project. O.K... but then he said he wanted to meet me alone and at their office near the Canadian border, in Ferndale. Ferndale! Who the hell works in Ferndale?! I told my agent to dispose of this Ferndale producer by any means necessary.
So, why not have the meeting here in town? Hm? I'll tell you why, and I come to this conclusion thanks to you, my TRUE family, and the army of my re-emergence! Those bastards want to take me across the border and sell me to the Canadians - oh, wouldn't the Canadians just love to get their hands all over Dan McNeely?! To consume my sweet flesh, steal my powers and add them to their collective Canadian bounty!
I wasn't about to get so close to the border and risk a war with Canada, not now, not with only half-truths starting to come back to me, not with Dialla still on my mind. Canada has obviously become their last resort to get rid of me, knowing of course that I cannot actually die. I've recently been told that Canadians are masters of making people disappear, a fate even worse than death. I hear they have rabid wolves drag you off to some place called "Calgary," where starving polar bears await to eat your flesh before burying what remains in a shallow, frozen grave. Normally I'd give kudos to their criminal ingenuity, but not this time, not when they aim to put ME in the ground. I've read Interview with the Vampire, no thanks.
Ha! Do they take me for some kind of fool? The films, the whole trilogy. Those were the acts of my life before they took it all away from me and turned it to fiction. I know this now; it's come to me like a bullet to Mickey's brain. Mickey, that bastard deserved what he got. Someone pulled me from that safe Dialla left me in and attempted to erase my memories. Unfortunately for them no memory wipe could hold me back indefinitely. The trilogy was only a hint of the truth and by God the whole truth is turning out to be so much more appealing and deliciously evil.
They expected me to live my eternal life out like some chump; Dan McNeely the screenwriter, Dan McNeely the greatest actor since Vin Diesel, Dan McNeely the neighborhood watch, Dan McNeely the forlorn. But not anymore. Now, I have an army to run! I must discover if Merik survived Dialla's escape and if the rest of my men are still out there. Do they now run under a different banner, awaiting my return? Are they surviving alright without their lord and master?
Whoever wants me buried in the Canadian tundra cannot just come at me directly, nah, too dangerous. They must know about immorgamsics! I could tear them apart, starting with their fingers, as I do with all those in my way. They had to be sneaky and draw me out, bring me to Ferndale with the hope of enticing 'Dan McNeely the broke' with a job offer. Ha! What a joke.
In my last post I mentioned I'd seen Dialla Reinheart on the street about a week ago. Let me make it clear: I saw the REAL Dialla Reinheart. Not Kira. Kira was a nice girl; she liked ponies, coffee, and had a fondness for propane salesmen - but she was stuck home a lot and had an almost disturbing obsession with costume play. No, not Dialla at all. This woman I have found - on the other hand - is the woman I once knew, long before the movies even existed, before they took everything from me. The woman who killed me the first time by tearing out my soul.
All the lies, all the deception, all her stunningly evil ideas for what was once HER army. HER empire. All now thrown out the window thanks to a little amnesia. Tomorrow it begins, tomorrow I will confront her and discover if she really is the one I'm supposed to be with or the one I need to kill!